What are these dots?

Are they from a tree or plant or something? What are they?! Lol

And is there a legit way to remove them without scraping? I avoid razor blades like the plague when possible…

Artillery fungus

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Yes, agree with Dan…artillery fungus.

You can try a plastic credit card, or plastic scraper…generally I have to blade them but they will come off with your finger nail (but that takes forever).