Not posting on here again…
What type (which media) of ad?
Would adding your last name assist in increased trust?
Brandon, now you did it…
this sucks, bad
I will not leave you with that, I’ll tell you why:
[B]You have a daily checklist of duties. Who cleans their windows
every day, every week or even every couple months?[/B]
no one
[B]After that limp intro you hobble into- “a pro cleaning your
windows costs $$”[/B] as your close.
You ad is completely void of any reason to call. No offer, no nothing.
It is in the top 2 worst I have seen on here…
I don’t know much about advertising, but I’ve never quite understood the ‘saving time’ angle when trying to sell window cleaning services. Most of my customers hire someone to do at least 5 or 6 of the 7 things you mentioned. Your market may be different though, I suppose.
Lol, let me see your attempt at giving anyone on here a look at one of your Money Maker ads Paul. Anyone can bash someones stuff.
Paul -
He’s got an argument here. I know a lot of users turn to Paul’s advice and criticism, yet most of your marketing genius has either been edited out by you, or a lack of submission of anything of value. Also, I can’t quite figure out if you are in the business of window cleaning, or marketing, or both? You talk a big game in both arenas, but often lack substance in backing your credentials. No offense, I just would rather see constructive criticism, versus negative comments and overzealous “tooting of your own horn”. I noticed you are worried about others in your direct market capitalizing on any advice and/or strategies you present to this forum as far as window cleaning marketing. Couldn’t you be making big bucks by teaming up with WCR and advertice/charge for your great marketing wisdom? Wouldn’t that be the logical approach for such a well rounded business man such as yourself? Marketing is your true passion - right? Well then why are you still cleaning windows? To merely pay the bills? What risk/challenge/reward comes with that approach?
Hi - I’m Paul, a window cleaner by day, and a marketing guru by night. Check out my blog…buy into ME while I sit back and criticize YOU. Trust me, my passion is marketing, but I only market myself - screw the other guys.
Now I have no problem with someone who has multiple small businesses/hobbies/investments - I myself am one of those. But I don’t have the audacity to sit here and say that my passion exists in anyone of these businesses alone. My true passion is ALL of those businesses combined. My quality, attention to detail, and passion resides deep within everything I do. I am going to give you the best damn window cleaning, for your money, and at the end of the day you will want me to stick around for dinner, maybe date your daughter, and join your church.
I am not one to do things just for the sake of doing it. Have reason, have passion, give back, and be thankful for everything you have accomplished. I am not trying to pick on you Paul, your post just set me off a bit. I do appreciate everything you have contributed to this forum.
Brandon - sorry for the thread hijack - but Paul was right…your ad sucks. Read other people’s ads/marketing material that has already been picked apart. You will then realize what we are talking about. Always remember the handy search button!
-Shawn
Make sure you say what you feel. Dont hold back.
Hypocrite!
You asked if the group liked.
Did you only expect/want positive feedback?
Are you serious? At least I attempted to direct Brandon towards a means of finding answers. Unlike Paul, and unlike you.
But then again…maybe you are just a left wing activist attempting to create some smoke and mirrors to distract from the real agenda here.
Brandon…your ad STILL sucks, but keep reading and researching, and after you have exhausted all other options…then ask questions. At that point Larry should be able to dissect your post word for word. See Larry focuses more on the words you are typing, versus what you are trying to say. I wonder if he cleans windows as well as he picks well meaning posts apart…?
I believe I was the first to reply to Brandon, and included something though-provoking and a suggestion. What was I picking apart?
You are a hypocrite since your diatribe toward Paul stated that he should give something back… Did you mesan directions to the Search button?
Okay, well I’m sorry you felt hurt and attacked. I understand why you would, and every time we post something up and invite criticism, we are exposing ourselves to be hurt.
Try not to take it too personally.
I have a few observations, too.
First of all, [B]the “checklist idea” is a good one.[/B] People make lists, and use them daily to get things done. The frequency you suggested might be a little off, but overall its a good concept. Don’t abandon it.
I would consider redeveloping it to look like a medium that your clients might actually more likely use. An iPhone “notes” interface maybe? A Blackberry list? Maybe the back or corner of a napkin from a local expensive restaurant? (To make it look like the people that eat there also think of and use YOUR company…?
Something like that might work even better.
[B]Secondly, the time angle also has merit,[/B] in my opinion. Especially affluent people crave more time, but this piece doesn’t seem to be directed towards wealthy people, since they wouldn’t walk their dog or cut their own lawn, or probably do any of the other things on the list either.
So, perhaps you could restructure the list to include some romantic or fun things, too, and also these unsavory “work-type” things - like window cleaning - and then have the idea behind the piece revolve around YOUR COMPANY looking after the boring stuff on their list so that they can do the fun things - especially the ones that can help them enjoy love and connection with the people they love.
Or if your local target demographic is big into some other kind of activity, you could put those things on the list, too, and use the same basic approach: That you are helping them cross the annoying, finicky, time-intensive activities off their list so that they can be normal and enjoy the things that people like them enjoy on the weekend, like going to the local game, hitting up a local hot spot, or engaging in some other local activity that your target prospects would likely be obsessed with, and wish they had more time to enjoy.
[B]Overall, a good idea, Brandon, and with some tweaking it could be really effective.[/B]
The piece could use more elements, too, like a strong offer, a deadline, a guarantee, etc, but start with these other things above first.
And you did some things very well. For instance, you left your name and contact information for the bottom. Great job. People don’t care who we are until they know how we can help them.
Don’t take criticism personally (easy for me to say, I know).
You’ll learn a lot by hanging around here.
And Paul isn’t trying to make you feel stupid, he just has no much passion for marketing, that he quite willingly gushes marketing feedback upon request! He knows what he’s talking about, and his advice will help you make your next piece better.
K
This is why I read Kevin’s book and plan to reread it once a year in the winter.
Also, maybe the reason I’m going to Reno this January…
Kevin,
Your i felt your words giving me a generous hug 
Thx man
Ahhhh…my pleasure…now I’m even more glad I wrote them 
Wow, what the hell happened here…
I surely do not need to prove myself and that is not the point. The
FACTS are true what I said. Does anybody think I am wrong in my
assessment? Let’s throw marketing skill out the window- that ad will
B-O-M-B
I do not hold hands and give fake “nice try dude!” answers. I have lost my
azz on so many ads that alone taght me what works and what does not.
I believe in cutting the crap. You don’t like, don’t ask. Really try to avoid
posting a thread titled “an ad that may help” based on a untested ad.
I never insulted anyone in my answer. I insulted the ad as it deserved to be.
Go test it and come back and let me know how wrong I am 
Dormatix,
Thank you for your review of me. Notice a difference in your answer
to me than mine to Brandon?
You personally attacked me
I am who I am bro, deal with it or don’t.
Thanks Kevin, you are exactly right
Brandon the man had nothing to do with my critique
When I first came across the “artist formerly known as CFP” my first impressions was he’s very self-centered, arrogant, and makes rude comments. But now that I have known him for awhile I have to include egotistical to that list…
But seriously if you can get past all that BS, what he has to say is dead-on-balls. I value his input and seek it every chance I get. I subscribe to his blog and have purchased his eBook, which I have read twice.
You can choose to look at Paul’s statements without preconceived ideas.
Basically you need to give the customer a reason to call and a compelling offer. He also pointed out that you need to introduce this ad to the waste basket. If I was you I would thank him for his input because this ad could cost you time and money.
Larry is another whose input is valuable and at times you must read between the lines when getting the nuggets of his comments.
Kevin is like the Mr. Rodgers of marketing compared to Larry and Paul. I completely value his marketing knowledge as well. He gave you some well thought out advice that I hope you adhere to.
IMO this needs to be trashed sorry if that offends you. maybe posting this in another venue may get you the response you are looking for. However if you are wanting to succeed then press on and ask for more help.
