Are You a Drooling Moron?

I found this great article from one of my direct marketing gurus that really put to light advertising reps. For you think in terms of a Yellow Pages rep, tv ad rep, magazine ad rep, billboard ad rep, whatever. Someone trying to put their creative twist on your lifes blood. Enjoy!

[B][COLOR=“black”]How advertising “experts” turn brilliant CEOs
into drooling morons[/COLOR][/B]

Imagine this: You’re the CEO of a major corporation – in this case,
a brewery.

As the CEO, your prime directive is quite simple: Your bosses – the
Board of Directors and your stockholders – demand that every
corporate dollar you spend produces a positive return on investment.

You’re good at what you do. By producing a superior product and
pinching every nickel until the buffalo squirts, your company has
become the most successful in its industry and your market share is
still growing.

Then one day, a guy from a major New York ad agency shows up
in your office. He has bad news for you.

“You’re doing it all wrong,” he says.
“What do you mean?” you ask.
“Your advertising,” he says. “Your ads just drone on and on about
how delicious and refreshing your beer is – and how superior it is to
everybody else’s.”
“So what’s wrong with that?” you ask.
“No frogs.” the adman says.
“Absolutely. Fat, ugly frogs on lily pads in the middle of a
mosquito-infested swamp, all croaking your product’s name.”

“Will that sell more beer?” you ask incredulously.

The Madison Avenue wizard waves his hand slowly before your
eyes. “You don’t care if it sells more beer,” he intones.

Your eyes glaze over and, in a trancelike voice, you mindlessly
repeat after him: “Sales … not … important … ”

You can feel yourself slipping under his spell – the Madison Avenue
version of the Jedi Mind Trick – but somehow, you marshal enough
self-control to blurt out another question: “But … how will I know if
these frog ads are a good investment?”

Another wave from the adman: “You won’t know … and you don’t

“Return meaningless … don’t care …” You hear the words coming
out of your mouth involuntarily as if someone else – a crazy person –
were saying them.

You gather every remaining ounce of strength to ask your final
question: “How … much … for … the … frogs?”

The ad wizard waves again, this time a double whammy – with
both hands: “You don’t care how much it costs …”

The double whammy does the trick. You are completely under the
wizard’s spell.

As you surrender, your eyeballs roll back in your head … a drop of
spittle appears at the corner of your mouth … and you hear yourself
chanting, “Sales meaningless … investment return meaningless …
profits meaningless … just … need … frogs.”

Next thing you know, you – the Harvard MBA … the hard-boiled
businessman who fought his way to the top of the corporate ladder …
the CEO who, in every other area of business demands that every
penny spent produces a trackable, measurable, positive return on
investment …

… YOU are signing the check for a new $50 million ad campaign,
complete with butt-ugly frogs.

oh, for those that don’t know, Budweisers sales never increased while using the funny frogs.

Did they go down? Stay flat? What would have happened without them frogs? :rolleyes:

I guess who cares

If marketing/advertising is not adding to the bottom line, it is taking. With 100s of millions sunk into the frogs and no increase in sales, you tell me the end results :rolleyes:

where be them frogs now…

Im not sure if it means anything but I think about those bud frogs every once in a while. It never makes me want to buy budweiser even though its my brand.

I won a Budweiser promotional snowboard at a bar once and it has the frogs on it. It’s in the corner on display of the bar room at my and Alex’s place. So, yeah, that’s where they are.


It got the Budweiser name out though! Me…I always liked Patch.

I can’t believe what they spend on Super Bowl commercials and for what does it really increase sales that much? I mean you’re targeting an audience that already uses your product. It would be like spending millions to make someone feel good about a product they already bought!

In college marketing classes we discussed something called “Category Killers”. Actually Budwiser was one of the examples.

A category killer is someone who dominates their market sector to the point of not really being able to grow anymore. The idea is that they have tons of money from already outrageous sales and their marketing goal is to show their dominance, continue underscoring their company image, and burn their image into the minds of the masses. From what I remember, keeping sales flat or increasing with population growth is their main goal. Something I will probably never experience.

McDonalds was another example – and if you think about it, their commercials carry a similar “pointlessness” however, in contrast they do consistently bring in new products which often take advantage of their large marketing budget.

If I remember right the frogs got fired because of Political Correctness. I live not to far from St. Louis so its easy to hear alot about Budweiser. I think there was a couple studies that came out saying that more children recognized what the 3 frogs were going to say than what Barney was going to say. Kinda like what they did to Joe Camel.

One thing that the frogs did do for A-B was open up a entire new door of merchendise. Look how many different shirts, hats, Snow Boards, towels, and blah blah blah, were made because of those frogs.

off subject
all this beer talk makes me want some Amberbock

I wanted to buy the frogs.

Don’t forget coke!!

There you go… you’d have done well in that class… unlike me.

I took advertising classes in college.

I took drugs in college.

Now you’re talking! I only have 3 left :frowning:

How were they marketed? I bet the frogs started there.

Perhaps “marketed” is the wrong term…