Email blast... constructive criticism welcomed

Please give me any corrections or improvements. The only thing im not going to change are the pictures. Check the link below for preview of email blast.

It’s time to get your windows cleaned… give us a call!

When you say licensed I assume you mean a business license right? Since its an email, people will be at the computer and may look for your window cleaning license. Since no such thing exists as far as I know, it could come across as deceptive. I think you could flip flop licensed and fully insured and its more clear. It probably wouldn’t ever come up, but you never know.

I don’t like getting emails unless I’m directly expecting them… I even put WCR on spam alert :p.

I think the first picture you have is perfect, it catches the attention and may lead the reciever to send the email to a friend. But the rest of the email looks way unprofessional to me. Try using a screen shot of your website homepage, itll show more info and look much more professional.

If you put to much HTML and pictures in there it runs the risk of being picked up for spam. As for the people who don’t want to receive emails about window cleaning, im not really interested in them they can opt out. Im interested in the people that want my services and this is another way of getting the name out.

So are you spamming your current customer list (and risk being put on a spam alert) or are you spamming the general public? Spam is how viruses are spread, only an idiot would open a non solicited email.

It’s a list i got from someone. Business list. Sure virus are sent that way but every piece of email goes through a virus scan before they are opened. It brought me two customers last time… and those “idiots” got a good deal on window cleaning and i earned myself two bi-annual customers. Why are people so critical about some things? School me then on how i’m suppose to use email to increase my customer base…because i know for a fact that it is a viable means of gaining a customer base.

And thank you Jay. This is constructive and something I can work with. I was thinking the same thing.

I hate people that clog up my inbox.

I promise that i will not spam you… but if by chance i do all you need to do is hit the unsubscribe button


those “idiots” got a good deal on window cleaning and i earned myself two bi-annual customers

You only got two customers, I would consider that a total failure but I’ve heard the Pro spammers send out millions and millions of email to make a few bucks… then they go to jail. I’m just messing with you but can you tell us more about this Email business list? How many emails, how much does it cost etc.

Even I think this is the future… if we ever get to a paperless society I mean.

3,500 Entrepreneurs, business owners and anybody attending some sort of business card. Also top 500 realtors (which i got 3 call backs and one job landed. they get a different email that is straight forward) . Cost for the list 0$ just a winning personality and the ability to network and know the right people.

50$ for constant contact. Income totaled over 1,500$ from my first email blast. Takes me about 20 minutes to put the emails together now.

Damn, that’s really good. Remember what they say about hitting the same people 3 times. I’ve never done it but if it only cost $50…

edit: Hey, since your email is getting a very low response compared to flyers it might be because the Email title isn’t enticing ( it’s the first thing they see and emails have a bad rep of course, up hill battle here) . You are focusing on getting the right ad, it might make sense to also look at the title of the email. Kind of like the title of a flyer.

Edit 2: Enticing email titles are usually “See Pamela Anderson Naked”… but don’t open those:D

I think this is a better route

It’s time to get your windows cleaned… give us a call!

But yeah I dont open up much spam or even read the titles. it’s an uphill battle that has it’s benefits if you can do it for the right price. I even personally dont even look at door hangers before i throw them away… such is life.

I agree and I like it. But I don’t like the first thing I see when I click on the link. That pic, it’s low res and looks like a joke. But get a consensus because I don’t always have the best opinion.:stuck_out_tongue:

2nd pic is pro… wish it had some colour…

Are you sure you don’t look at them though? That’s the thing, I throw out junk mail all the time too but if I catch a glimpse of a competitors flyer… I KEEP IT:D There is always a part of me that is scanning. Today all I could think about was a sharp knife. I was googling sharpening stones and those steels chefs sharpen knives with. If any ad came across my sight today that mentioned anything about sharp knives, it would have grabbed my attention for at least a sec, if it was a good ad and was relavent to me, it’s almost a sale.

I think the same is true with people looking to have their yard cleaned or their eaves cleaned or their windows cleaned. If it’s on their mind and anything crosses their path they notice, it’s like a lead. Then the door hanger\flyer has to close the sale.